Chapter 5: A new beginning.
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Work in progress draft of A Beast Tamers Crazy Chicken by Leimrat. Originally posted on Leimrat.blogspot.com. Please do not repost.
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“Take the weekend kick the bear out, then we’re goin’ to the city. We’re gonna visit my little niece,” Dale said, stumbling toward the door.
“I didn’t know you had family, Dale?”
“‘Course I do! Got a big family! Just don’t like ‘em!” Dale said, furrowing his brow and spitting on my floor.
“And don’t worry ‘bout the farm, I’ll get someone to cover while we’re away”
“Princess! C’mon, home time!”
Duchess had spent most of the day getting roped into Cluckers’ training drills, forced to show off her muscle regimen.
At first, she was amused by the pathetic fowl’s attempts to better themselves and decided to show them just how inferior they were by training in front of them.
But the demon chickens took it as a challenge, and trust me—it’s never a good idea to challenge a chicken.
Duchess picked her sweaty heap of a body off the ground, my exhausted chickens surrounding her, clinging to her hind legs, refusing to let her go.
“Wait, what do I do about the bear?!” I called out.
“He’s your problem! Name it, cuddle it, feed it, put it to bed and read it a bedtime story, kiss it on the head, and make it breakfast in the morning. Ya know, the usual!”
---
‘I think me and Dale have a different kind of normal when it comes to beasts.’
I imagined what it would be like if I did that with Cluckers—she’d think it was her last meal.
Maybe that’s what normal tamers do with their beasts. I haven’t seen many prisons around other farms I’ve been to…
Huh.
‘Am I too mean to Cluckers?’
“Dale, isn’t it normal for beast tamers to have prisons and disagreements with their beasts?”
Dale stopped at the doorway, looking back at me. I was sitting on top of a sleeping, beat-up wild bear, in the middle of a spike-pit field, while my gang of murder chickens tried to kidnap Duchess.
“Nothin’ you do is normal, boy. Don’t worry ‘bout other tamers. You do you.”
“Dale?”
Dale sighed. “What? I’m thirstin’ for a cold one here!”
“I never asked before, since it wasn’t relevant, but… how come you know so much about beast taming?” I’d always been curious about Dale’s life before farming, but he was always cagey about it.
---
“You’ll find out one day,” Dale said, strolling off into the dusk-colored field.
*What the hell does that mean?*
I hate it when he gets vague. I think he just doesn’t want people knowing his business.
“Cluckers! Let Duchess go! You’ve got another hostage here anyway!”
I nodded toward the bear, prompting Cluckers’ crazy eyes to scan it up and down.
Duchess dragged her body outside, crawling after Dale.
“Make sure he feels at home. We’ll scare it off somehow in the morning.”
Finally, I shut the renovated vault door—with its new and improved lock code—leaving the injured sun bear in complete darkness with the nocturnal Cluckers.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine for now. He’ll sleep off most of the wounds by morning.”
Before I headed to bed myself, I tucked Essie in, thinking about what Dale said about kisses and bedtime stories.
‘…Might as well try it.’
“There once was a beautiful princess, with bulging biceps and a beautiful snout! She lived in a tall trash tower. The trash pile was so big that the door was blocked and she couldn’t escape!—“
Essie surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, loved it, falling asleep quickly afterward.
‘That’ll save me an hour or so from now on.’
Finally walking back into my house, I opened the front door adjoining the kitchen and—
---
…
Deep breaths, Steven. Deep breaths!
I forgot about the chaos in here.
The broken windows, the ripped boxes of food, the milk, the stack of bills and the feathers everywhere…
“It’s been a long day.”
Deciding this was ‘tomorrow Steven’s problem’, I grabbed the least beat-up looking cereal box and one of the remaining un-shattered bowls for a quick and easy dinner.
Dragging my aching, tired body to my room, I sat on the bed and looked at the Task Dungeon device.
Navigating the usual menus, I redeemed the 20 discount cereal coupons and bought a couple of boxes for delivery tomorrow.
After that, I headed to the daily Gacha menu, spinning the free wheel to see if I could get some exp packs.
‘No luck there.’
After mindlessly clicking through claims, redeems, and daily games, I scored a total of 3 sticker packs, one weapon upgrade, and some upgrade resources—all in-game items, like usual.
The best thing about this game is the sponsorships with real brands like Smiley Cat cereal. Their events and tasks usually bag me real stuff, not just digital slop.
Seeing my level only rise by a minuscule amount after just leveling, I disappointedly navigated over to the beast tamer mode.
I guess this has to be some kind of promotion too, otherwise it doesn’t make much sense with all the expensive and useful stuff it gave me in the welcome pack after scanning my beasts.
I smiled, remembering my reward for beating the sun bear.
Double Gacha Wheel Roll!!
---
Looking properly at the beast tamer mode, I saw a few new things. For starters, the shop wasn’t like the usual skins-and-currency microtransactions.
It was like a real beast tamer shop! Like the ones in the city—it even had branded stuff like Furrari and Pawdidas!
cool integration!
I scanned through the shop and prices, seeing if there was anything cheap or free.
Surprisingly, there was some free stuff: outdoor gear for canines from Peltagonia, training gear from Bite with their “Just Bite It” slogan and tick on the apparel.
None of it would fit any of my beasts but still cool!
Sorting by cheapest, i tried to find a bargain. I saw a bunch of bug-type stuff—small habitats, special pheromones, tiny leads, and clothes.
I found an advanced sort and searched for avian. It spat out all kinds of seeds, feather oils, hoods, and even gauntlets.
The usual stuff for birds, at regular prices, didn’t interest me much.
“I’m not about to pamper Cluckers with oils and clothes or she’ll blackmail me for it all the time!”
I added variant to the search terms—not that I know much about variant beasts—and found stuff that was way more interesting.
---
I didn’t understand the descriptions at all, so I tried the simplified descriptions.
Element Seeds: Bird feed imbued with elemental essences of all kinds, ideal for elemental-base stage beasts forming their cores.
“Forming their cores? Like their abdominal muscles? Is that what Cluckers is training her kids to do?”
Proofing Oils: Oil for birds looking to protect their feathers against the elements, perfect for variance triggers and early base-stage beasts.
“Variance triggers, like… to uh… no, I don’t get it. Are you sure this is *simplified*?”
There were only a few kinds of variant hoods, though.
Hood of Darkness: A hood imbued with fake darkness, hoodwinking the beast into triggering dark abilities anywhere, or preventing the use of light abilities.
“Isn’t that just a normal hood?”
Hood of Light was the opposite, but Hood of Illusions looked like it did something.
I switched to the un-simplified description to see if there was a difference…
Hood of Illusions:
Crafted from dream-silk threads soaked in astral dew and bound under the third phase of the Sovereign Lunar Beast’s ascent, the Hood of Illusions fractures the wearer’s psychic signature into seven non-linear impressions. This results in a pseudo-multiverse overlay that forces hostile entities to miscalculate trajectories by up to 0.3 seconds in real time, effectively generating “after-image hallucinations.” Warning: extended use may destabilize a beast’s perception of its own body, causing existential spirals or unintended teleportation—“Um, uh, nope, back to simplified.”
A hood designed for avian beasts, but imbued with faint psychic energy. When worn, it doesn’t just block the beast’s vision, it projects a calming illusion into their mind, making them believe they’re in a safe, familiar place. The hood can also blur or distort the wearer’s psychic presence, making it harder for opponents to predict or sense their intent.
“…It makes her calm? With a dream? Isn’t this the same as just giving her a sleeping pill? Then what’s with the multiverse lunar beast stuff? I guess it’s for the last part… I don’t get how it works though.”
I really don’t get this variant stuff. Last time I read up on it was during the license exam—and I think I failed those questions. I’m so glad they were optional!
I left the shop before I accidentally bought a bomb or something.
---
I found something I did understand!
The Double Gacha Wheel!!
Given how the welcome package and shop have real gadgets in them, I can hope for some cool stuff!
A big spinning wheel covered in shining lights and different partitions appeared with resounding trumpets.
The options were hidden, which is weird, but I quickly hit the spin button.
It started to spin, the display lit up, and tense music played. I sat up, shoving my empty bowl to the side.
The wheel ticked quickly before slowing. As it slowed down, the music swelled, and then it stopped:
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“Roaming Backpack”
Rarity: ★★★
*Description:*
A sentient backpack that wanders off when bored. Sometimes returns with snacks, other times with stolen valuables. Occasionally hisses when overstuffed.
“What!? Sentient?”
“Cursed Beast Manual: Mime Stance”
Rarity: ★★★
*Description:*
An ability manual teaching beasts the deadly art of invisible-box combat. Most beasts hate it. Highly effective against creatures with poor imagination.
“Why do I feel like Cluckers might actually like that?”
I went to the game inventory to see if they were in-game items or real, but I’m starting to think the beast tamer mode is less of a productivity game and more like a helping hand for beginner beast tamers.
*delivery pending.*
“Yes!! They’re real things!” The device almost flew out of my hands, I was so happy.
[][][]——[][][]
Upstairs at the B&B, Tess lay on the bed staring out the window. The night sky was annoyingly beautiful.
The great lunar beast hung high, astral beasts shining and dancing around it lighting up the night sky in an array of colors.
Its the kind of view you’d see on a postcard that screamed wish you were here, but Tess wasn’t in the mood. Her eyes were still wet, and every time she blinked, her mind dragged her back to the impromptu party earlier.
It had started simple, Marv drinking everyone under the table, Grant heading upstairs hours ago with some excuse about “writing sensitive reports,” and Lark spinning the waitress around like they were finalists on Farmers Got Talent. Tess, as usual, sat at a corner table pretending not to care.
When the waitress left to grab another round, Lark stumbled over, cheeks red and eyes bright.
“Come dance with me!” she said, leaning way too close and looping an arm around Tess’s neck.
Tess gently pushed her off. “I think you’ve had enough for the night. Come on, I’ll take you upstairs.”
“Ooh, finally! I wondered how long it would take you!” Lark grinned, completely missing the tone.
“Don’t start with me.” Tess groaned but helped her up the stairs, half-carrying her toward her room.
As soon as Tess laid her down on the bed, Lark grabbed her wrist and yanked her closer. “You can’t hide it from me,” Lark slurred, grinning like a fox.
“Lark…”
“I saw how you look at me. The smiles, the way you linger when I lean over. You like me, don’t you?”
Tess froze, A dozen sharp retorts danced on her tongue, but due to the alcohol, all she could manage was:
“Idiot.”
She yanked herself free and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. “Stupid stupid stupid—” She kicked open her own door, locked it, and collapsed face-first onto the pillow.
Tears pricked her eyes, hot and unwanted.
“This is ridiculous. You’re Tessa Ziegerbolt.”
The name echoed in her head like a curse. One of the most powerful legacy clans—her family wouldn’t just disapprove, they’d destroy her for even thinking about messing around ever again, lest she ruin the family name any further than she already had…
She hugged the pillow tighter, swallowing a sob. She’d survived battles and handled more missions than she could count. And yet here she was, nearly unraveling over a drunk intern with a terrible sense of boundaries.
At least out here, they couldn’t control her every move. She decided to drink in the night sky for as long as she could, untill eventually, she fell asleep.
[][][]——[][][]
With the wheel giving me a huge hit of dopamine, I messed around with the virtual fighter, where I could send a virtual Cluckers off to spar with random beasts of her level.
I put on my concentration face and readied myself for some intense matchups. I mean, what if I met them in real life sometime? This could be useful info!
Virtual Fight! Cluckers vs Sun Bear.
“Running it back, huh? Thisl’ll be good practice for the real thing.
Then Cluckers, go for the—“
VF: Sun Bear used Beacon!
Intimidating Gaze disrupted!
“U-use Triumphant Claw!”
VF: Sun Bear used Integrity Guard.
Defeat! (0:22) \[Details]
“Details.”
* Beacon: Creates a burst of light that dispels illusions or fear effects.
* Integrity Guard: A defensive move that reflects damage only if the attacker is deceitful or malicious.
“Ok, thank the gods my sun bear doesn’t have those abilities or we’d be toast. Wait, why doesn’t my sun bear have those cool abilities!?”
---
Virtual Fight! Cluckers vs Mantis Nymphs.
“That’s a swarm! Is that legal?”
VF: Select target for Intimidating Gaze.
“Wait! It’s single target? But her eyes act independently! It should be two at least!”
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Defeat! (1:12) \[Details]
“Details again!”
* Hive Mind: Gain fear resistance and spread psychic damage between allies.
“Damn it! Is this on purpose?!”
---
After a string of disappointing losses, I got a feel for what counters Cluckers right now.
First, her only defense is uncanny dodge. So if something blinds her repeatedly, she’s done for.
Maybe I train her to fight blindfolded?
Second, any light-variant beast has multiple ways to counter her abilities. A lot of them have to do with her being malicious, deceitful, or selfish!
“My Cluckers? Deceitful and selfish? Never!”
I don’t know what to do about it. I gotta read up on light and dark variants—all I know is that they don’t work the same as elemental variants.
Third, she needs to learn how to deal with metal and rock variants. Most of her attacks just hit shells, armor, or vestigial sediment, hurting herself instead.
Fourth, there’s a whole heap of beasts that can counter or are immune to fear and intimidation. So she’s gotta learn how to fight on the back foot or pick up some new moves there, too.
Those are my main takeaways so far. Maybe that Mime Stance book could teach her something about psychic pressure—some beasts said they were resistant to it when she used Triumphant Claw.
“Yawn, Anyway, I need sleep!
Maybe if i learnt mime stance I could trap Cluckers in a box and do away with the money draining prison all together.
But for now, first thing tomorrow, I’m dealing with that bear!”
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